Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

For Families: 7 Tips for Raising Caring Kids — Making Caring Common

Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

Children need practice caring for others and being grateful—it’s important for them to express appreciation for the many people who contribute to their lives. Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more ly to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving—and they’re also more ly to be happy and healthy. 

How? 

Learning to be grateful and caring is in certain respects learning to play a sport or an instrument.

Daily repetition—whether it’s helping a friend with homework, pitching in around the house, having a classroom job, or routinely reflecting on what we appreciate about others—and increasing challenges make caring and gratitude  second nature and develop children’s caregiving capacities.

Hold family meetings that give children practice helping to solve family problems such as squabbles between siblings, hassles getting off to school, and making meals more pleasant.

Although as parents and caretakers we always need to stand firmly behind key values such as caring and fairness, we can make our home democratic in key respects, asking our children to express their views while they listen to ours. Involving children in making plans to improve family life teaches perspective-taking and problem-solving skills and gives them an authentic responsibility: becoming co-creators of a happy family.

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  • Real responsibilities. Expect children to routinely help, for example, with household chores and siblings, and only praise uncommon acts of kindness. When these kinds of routine actions are simply expected and not rewarded, they’re more ly to become ingrained in every day actions.
  • Make caring and justice a focus. Start conversations with children about the caring and uncaring acts they see in their daily lives or on television and about acts of justice and injustice they might witness or hear about in the news, such as a person who stood up for an important cause or an instance of sexism or racism. Ask children how they see these actions and explain why you think these actions are caring or uncaring, just or unjust.
  • Expressing thanks. Consider making expressing gratitude a daily ritual at dinnertime, bedtime, in the car, or on the subway. Encourage children to express appreciation for family members, teachers, or others who contribute to their lives.

Why?

Almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends. Our challenge is help children learn to have empathy and care about someone outside that circle, such as a new child in class, someone who doesn’t speak their language, the school custodian, or someone who lives in a distant country. 

How?

It is important that children learn to zoom in, listening closely and attending to those in their immediate circle, and to zoom out, taking in the big picture and considering the range of people they interact with every day.

Children also need to consider how their decisions impact a community. Breaking a school rule, for example, can make it easier for others to break rules.

Especially in our more global world, it’s important, too, for children to develop concern for people who live in other cultures and communities.

Endorsers

The following have endorsed these tips:

  • Ashoka
  • Career Training Concepts / H.E.A.R.–Helping Everyone Achieve Respect
  • Cartoon Network
  • Center for Character and Citizenship at the University of Missouri-St. Louis
  • Center for the 4th and 5th Rs, SUNY Cortland
  • Character Education Partnership (CEP)
  • Deborah Temkin
  • Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL)
  • Committee for Children
  • Facing History and Ourselves
  • Great Schools
  • Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley
  • HopeLab
  • Jessica Berlinski, Adaptive Health Systems
  • Jubilee Center for Character and Virtues
  • Making Caring Common, Harvard Graduate School of Education
  • Maurice J. Elias, Director, Social-Emotional Learning Lab, Rutgers University
  • Michele Borba
  • National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS)
  • National School Climate Center
  • Peace First
  • PREVNet
  • The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
  • YMCA of the USA

Last reviewed October 2018.

Source: https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/resources-for-families/7-tips-raising-caring-kids

The Art of Raising Kind Kids | Goop

Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

We all want our children to be kind, and to grow up to be even kinder. As any parent knows, monitoring unkind behavior is in most cases a practical impossibility, particularly as children grow—and it’s not an effective way to to build a kindness reflex in anyone. Our go-to parenting expert Robin Berman, M.D.

is just so wise on this topic—her book Permission to Parent is a goop bible, and we’ve turned to her for advice on everything from narcissism to the misguided desire of wanting our kids to be happy. According to Berman, kindness isn’t something we’re born with—it’s something we’re taught.

Below, her advice for focusing kids (and parents) on what really matters, and consistently parenting for—and with—kindness.

Raising Kind Kids

by Dr. Robin Berman

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear…You’ve got to be carefully taught. You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,before you are six or seven or eight,to hate all of the people your relatives hate.

You’ve got to be carefully taught.

These words, written in 1949 by Rodgers and Hammerstein, are still vital and relevant in 2017.

The flip side of “you’ve got to be taught to hate” is, of course, that you have to be taught to love, to be respectful, and to be kind to others. The world needs that kind of teaching now more than ever, but over the last decade, we parents have lost our way.

For a Harvard study, 10,000 kids were asked to rank kindness, personal happiness, and achievement in order of importance.

Not only did they rank achievement first, with personal happiness in second, and kindness trailing behind, but they also believed their parents would think achievement trumps all.

Are we focused on the wrong things? Grades and athletic/artistic accomplishments matter, but most of us would agree raising kind kids matters more.

If we spend our days drilling math facts and chauffeuring our kids to “enrichment activities,” it begs the question: What are we prioritizing most—and why? I sat next to a fabulous woman on a plane who told me she taught both her kids and grandkids compassion with the phrase, “ABK, all the way, every day.” ABK stands for Always Be Kind.

Chances are you’re not raising the next Harvard valedictorian or NBA superstar, yet we are under the delusion that by spending our children’s childhoods on tutors and coaches, we might beat the odds, while we don’t spend enough time on the key qualities that we can foster.

There are three meaningful things you can shape as parents: your child’s connection to you, their character, and their ability to act with kindness. But loving kindness is a skill that has to be talked up and practiced.

Ask your kids at the dinner table: “What did you do today that was kind?” “What are you grateful for?” That sends a very different message than, “What did you get on your test?”

Are you gossiping at the dinner table? How do we model kindness in our tone and language at home? How do we talk to our spouse, our children, and ourselves? Are we modeling self-compassion?

The School of Love

Home is ideally the school of love. We begin to understand our self-worth by the way we are treated. The tone and language you use in your home, no matter if it’s directed at your partner, your kids, or yourself, becomes the soundtrack in your child’s head.

Kids have bionic ears and eyes: They see and hear everything. So phrases , “bad boy,” or “you’re lazy,” or my all-time least favorite, “You should be ashamed of yourself!” need replacing. In their place, phrases , “We all make mistakes.

What did you learn from it?” “If you could push rewind, what would you do differently next time?” can be game-changing.

The power of mindful words can’t be overstated. Words can inflame or inspire. If, for example, you want to teach your child not to interrupt, you can say, “Wait for the pause. There will be a pause in the conversation.

” This is obviously more effective than barking: “Don’t interrupt,” “Be quiet”, or, worse, “Shut up.” Both teach manners, but one approach is more heart-centered and loving. The diplomacy you teach will allow your kids to be heard in the future.

It also feeds a gentler narrative in their head.

As Stephen Sondheim wisely warns:

Careful the things you say, children will listen.Careful the tale you tell, that is the spell,What do you leave to your kids when you’re dead?

Only whatever you put in their head.

A Kindness Muscle Short List

Take a breath before you instruct your kids.
Empathize with your child, as empathy diffuses big emotions. As parents, we often jump right into correcting our kids: ”Give that toy back,” versus “I can see you both want that toy.” Connect before you correct.

Shame and punishment do not equal discipline; in fact, the secret sauce of parenting is to discipline ourselves before we discipline our children. Oftentimes, it’s not the child that needs the time-out, it’s the parents. I once heard someone say, ”Sometimes my mom was a mom, sometimes she was a monster. I guess I was raised by a Momster.” We don’t want to be remembered as Momsters.

Rage and punishment may control behavior in the short run, and kids who are scared of their parents are often well-behaved. But I can assure you that intimidation as a means of control chips away at the foundation of a child’s self-esteem and paves the way for defenses to be built. The child’s real self might go underground.

My job as a psychiatrist is to chisel away at those defenses and re-parent in a safer way. So please help put me business: Let’s not fire verbal arrows that make our kids build walls around their hearts.

Own your mistakes.
We are human, and there is a high degree of human error in parenting. At times, parenting can be very messy.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so when we yell at our kids or say the wrong thing, we should apologize: “Can I have a Mommy do-over?” Tell them what you would do differently if you could push rewind.

It models that you are willing to take responsibility for your mistakes, which is both kind and respectful, and it also inspires trust. Think of a partner who can admit when they are wrong and apologize, instead of being defensive; it is quite an attractive quality.

Talk up the importance of kindness and character.
When you are going over your daughter’s report card with her, first look at the sections on character and cooperation. Keep reinforcing that message by giving your child a verbal high five when they share with a sibling, help a friend, or express gratitude.

When your kid says, “Thank you for driving me to soccer,” then reply, “Thank you for saying that—it means so much to me.” And if you’re thinking to yourself that your child would never do that, then it’s time to playfully and lovingly remind them that they are forgetting something as they’re about to slam the car door.

The goal is to keep building a stronger kindness/gratitude muscle.

Stop caring so much about winning.
Instead of screaming aggressively from the sidelines of seven-year-old soccer games, emphasize the importance of teamwork and sportsmanship. A mother told me about her nine-year-old son throwing his racket during tennis tournaments.

She calmly warned him that if he did this a third time, he would have to forfeit the match. When he threw the racket again, she followed through on her promise—and the lesson sank in. He went on to win both his high school and college tennis team sportsmanship awards.

If you value character and kindness, then live those values out loud for your kids.

Minimize the consumption of digital negativity.
Parents always ask me why anxiety has skyrocketed in children. I think in part it is because of parental hovering and early academic/athletic pressure, coupled with negative media. More than ever, we are bombarded with images that decrease empathy and increase fear in our children.

In this sea of negativity, we have trailers with bondage for Fifty Shades Darker that are seen by our children before they have had their first kiss. News of school shootings and terrorist attacks are ubiquitous.

How are we to raise compassionate and hopeful kids? We have to play active defense and make sure we’re exposing our children to content that has a positive moral arc.

The good news is that having kids watch compassion and kindness in action has beneficial brain effects.

Another Harvard study tracked the serotonin levels (the chemical found in Prozac and other antidepressants) of students watching a video of Mother Teresa caring for poor people in Calcutta, and found increased levels of serotonin in their saliva. So what do we learn from this study? That what you watch matters.

In short, kindness is good for your health. In addition to increasing serotonin, it also increases oxytocin—a hormone that fosters bonding and connection, and lowers blood pressure. Kindness bathes us in dopamine, which enhances mood and motivation.

Teach your kids compassion, and to look outward, not inward.
Father Gregory Boyle says “Compassion is always about a shift from the cramped world of self-preoccupation into a more expansive place of fellowship, of true kinship, where all margins get erased.” Unfortunately, selfie culture is not helping our children grow their highest or happiest selves.

Studies show that the more we connect to others, the happier we are. So we need to make sure we are spending more time looking out, rather than looking at our own selfies. Look out and feel kinship and compassion for other people. In this divided time in our history, it is more important than ever to actively model kindness.

Model kindness by giving up our seat on the train to a person who needs it. Mentor a child. Wait patiently at Starbucks without eye-rolling the barista, or refrain from aggressively honking at a slow driver.

Do we bring food to a neighbor who is sick, or volunteer with our kids at a soup kitchen? Do we ask ourselves what we can do for others? As Arthur Ashe reminds us, ”From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.”

I remember a Valentine’s Day card my son gave me when he was in kindergarten: “I love you until the sky stops. I hope the whole earth has love.”

Me too.

Source: https://goop.com/wellness/parenthood/the-art-of-raising-kind-kids/

10 Tips for Parenting Your Pre-Teen

Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

It’s typically between the ages of nine and twelve that our cute, cuddly little children, once so willing to climb into our laps and share their secrets, suddenly want little or nothing to do with us.

A child in preadolescence is not the same person he was just a year or two ago. He has changed—physically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially.

He’s developing new independence and may even want to see how far he can push limits set by parents.

What he may not know is that he needs you as much as ever, because a strong parent-child relationship now can set the stage for a much less turbulent adolescence. But it won’t be easy, because you as a parent need to respect your child’s need for greater autonomy in order to forge a successful relationship with this “updated” version of your kid.

We asked some experts for parenting tips to help you keep the channels of communication open between you and your pre-teen—and have a smoother transition into the teen years.

1.Don’t feel rejected by their newfound independence.

It’s appropriate for kids this age to start turning away from their parents and relying more and more on friends, but parents can take their pre-teen’s withdrawal as rejection.

“All too often parents personalize some of the distance that occurs and misinterpret it as a willful refusal or maybe oppositional behavior,” says Catherine Steiner-Adair, a Harvard psychologist, schools consultant, and author of The Big Disconnect.

Beware of trying to force information a resistant tween. “This is a time when children really start to have secrets from us,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair, “and parents who have a low tolerance for that transition — they want to know everything — can alienate their children by being too inquisitive.”

2. Set aside special time with your child. It’s often tough to get pre-teens to open up and talk. Laura Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist, suggests establishing a special period of one-on-one time once or twice a week that you spend with your tween, where you’re providing undivided attention ,and you’re not working or texting at the same time,

In doing this you’re not only improving your relationship, you’re also teaching interpersonal skills that are going to be crucial in the future. “That quality time is really key,” Dr. Kirmayer says, “and it’s something that we might overlook because our kids might be saying they don’t want it and be pulling away. And we might unintentionally collude with that tendency.”

3. Try the indirect approach. When they were younger you could ask direct questions. How was school? How did you do on the test? Now, the direct approach — carpet-bombing them with questions about school and their day — doesn’t work. Suddenly that feels overwhelming and intrusive. And it’s going to backfire.

If anything, says Dr. Kirmayer, you have to take the opposite approach and position yourself as mostly just a listener: “If you actually just sit down, without questions, and just listen, you’re more ly to get the information about your child’s life that you’re wanting.” Dr.

Kirmayer says this approach gives kids the message that “this is a place where they can come and talk, and they have permission to say anything that they’re thinking or feeling.” Sometimes you’ll be able to help and give advice—but don’t try to step in and solve all their problems.

Other times you’ll just be there to empathize with how hard it is to deal with whatever they’re going through.

4.Don’t be overly judgmental. “At this age your children are watching you very astutely to hear how judgmental you are,” advises Dr. Steiner-Adair.

“They are taking their cues on how you talk about other people’s children, especially children that get into trouble — how that girl dresses, or that boy has good manners or bad manners.

And they are watching and deciding whether you are harsh or critical or judgmental.”

She gives the example of the parent who says, “‘I can’t believe she posted this picture on ! If we were her parents we’d be mortified.’ Or ‘I can’t believe he sent that video around!’ They are commenting on behaviors that need commenting on, but the intensity and the rigidity of their judgment is what backfires.”

Related: How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers

5.Watch what they watch with them. Beginning in middle school, watching the stuff that your child wants to watch with him and being able to laugh at it and talk about it is an important way to connect and to be able to discuss subjects that would otherwise be taboo. “Don’t get too intense in how you critique the values,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair.

It’s our job as parents, she adds, to help both boys and girls recognize how the media instills the gender code — the barrage of cultural messages that tell kids what it “means” to be a boy or a girl—and to help them identify when something crosses the line from teasing to mean. But tread lightly and use humor.

6. Don’t be afraid to start conversations about sex and drugs. The unfortunate reality is that kids are starting to experiment with drugs and alcohol as early as 9 or 10. And according to Dr.

Kirmayer, “Sexual development is a big part of this age, and it’s when we first start to see eating disorders arise, so these are key years for us to be building a strong foundation and giving them developmentally appropriate information.” Dr.

Kirmayer suggests providing your tween with information and resources on sexuality without the pressure of a big “talk.”

She recommends books The Boy’s Body Book (by Kelli Dunham) and, for girls, The Care and Keeping of You (by Valarie Schaefer) to introduce sexual development and Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Drugs and Choices (by Dominic Cappello) to bring up the subject of drugs.

“They are going to be exposed to this stuff through their peer group,” she says. “You want to provide them with information that is accurate, but you want to do it in a way that isn’t overwhelming.

Let them have the book on their bookshelf so that they can look through it and come to you with questions.” Dr.

Steiner-Adair’s book The Big Disconnect also offers scripts and advice about how to talk to your children about sex.

7. Don’t overreact. Dr. Steiner-Adair warns against being the mom or dad who, in a bad situation, makes things worse. She gives this example: “Your daughter comes in crying; she wasn’t invited to a sleepover.

She sees a photo of it on Instagram or Snapchat. The parent says, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you weren’t invited! That’s horrible! I’m going to call the mother.

'” The crazy parent amplifies the drama, throwing fuel on the pre-adolescent’s already hyper-reactive flame. They make their kids more upset.

Related: How to Help Kids Deal With Embarrassment

8. Don’t be “clueless” either. At the other extreme, don’t be a parent who “just ignores stuff,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. You risk seeming oblivious or unconcerned to kids.

When a teenager is caught hosting a party with alcohol, the clueless parent might say, “‘Oh, that’s just kids getting drunk at a 10th grade party.’ So kids watch their older siblings getting away with everything without consequences and they think, ‘Great, why would I tell them anything? Why would I turn to them?'”

9. Encourage sports for girls. Girls’ self-esteem peaks at the tender age of 9 and then drops off from there, but research shows girls who play on teams have higher self-esteem. Girls on sports teams also tend to do better academically and have fewer body image issues.

Anea Bogue, creator of an empowerment program for girls called REALgirl, notes, “There’s a very common correlation, in my experience, between girls who play team sports and girls who suffer less with low self-esteem because they are looking within and to other girls for their value, as opposed to looking to boys for validation.”

10. Nurture your boy’s emotional side. “One of the really hard things for boys at this age is that the messages from the culture about their capacity for love, real friendships, and relationships are so harmful to them,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “They say that anything to do with real feelings — love, sadness, vulnerability — is girly, therefore bad.”

At the very least parents should do everything they can to encourage boys to be sensitive and vulnerable at home, while at the same time acknowledging the reality that those traits might not go over well at school. “You can tell him,” Dr. Steiner-Adair explains, “that at 15 or 16, when he wants to have a girlfriend, this is going to serve him really well.”

Finding just the right balance with your tween probably won’t be the easiest parenting job you’ve ever had. It will take some trial and error, but keeping the channels of communication open during these years is well worth the work you’ll have to put in.

If you develop trust with pre-teens you can offer them a safe place to come back to no matter what happens in the new world they’re inhabiting, and in doing that you’ll also be setting the stage for a smoother adolescence.

Read More:
What Parents Should Know About Tweens
When Should You Get Your Kid a Phone?
How to Help Kids Who Are Too Hard on Themselves

Source: https://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/

Tips for Raising Moral Children — From Harvard Psychologists

Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

We’ve talked about how to raise motivated children children on the blog…

How to help them develop good habits, how to be happy, how to thrive in school, how to avoid becoming too materialistic…

But the question of how to raise moral children is a different ball game. 

Just these other positive qualities and habits we hope to encourage in our kids, morality isn’t something we’re born with — it’s learnt.

And the fact of the matter is that sometimes, teaching our children moral lessons will get in the way of their immediate happiness. 

So often we’re focussed on helping our children deal with their own challenges that we can easily forget to emphasise the importance of moral behaviour.

This doesn’t mean that parents are condoning immoral behaviour…

It’s simply that moral decision making occurs much more often than we may realise.

Child psychologist Richard Weissbourd explains:

‘In a lot of subtle ways we prioritise our kids’ happiness over their caring for others. We’re too quick to let them write off friends who they find annoying. We don’t insist that they return phone calls from friends or reach out to a friendless kid on the playground.’ 

And these moral decision-making processes children go through shape the way they will behave when they grow up.

‘There are some parents who are essentially telling their kids to achieve, get into a great college, earn a lot of money, and then you can think about giving to others, you can turn on a morality switch… That is a way of thinking about the development of morality that doesn’t make sense. Morality is really something you have to cultivate in your kids day in and day out.’ 

So how do we cultivate morality on a daily basis? 

Weissbourd has offered six helpful tips.

  1. Make caring for others a priority. 

Children need to work on balancing their own needs with the needs of others, and parents need to encourage this.

For example — if your child wants to drop a team sport, help them to consider the implications this has on other people.

Will their teammates be sad or disappointed? Has somebody else missed out on being part of the team because your child was included? Will their absence hurt the team’s chances of performing?

Encouraging your children to honour their commitments is part of holding them to high ethical expectations, even when it may involve them doing something they don’t want to do.

Weissbourg suggests that instead of saying to your kids ‘the most important thing is that you’re happy’, you should be saying ‘the most important thing is that you’re kind’.

2. Provide opportunities for caring and gratitude. 

We’ve shown how a sense of gratitude contributes to an individual’s happiness, potentially more than anything else.

So practice gratitude on a daily basis, and enable it to manifest itself in acts of generosity, such as helping others kids with their homework, or sharing belongings.

And don’t reward every act of generosity or helpfulness — we should expect this from our kids, rather than incentivising it.

3. Expand their circle of concern. 

Teach kids that they should care for people outside of their family or group of friends.

Get them to take in the big picture, and consider the perspectives of the many other people they will interact with each day.

You can do this by encouraging them to be friendly and appreciative for everyone they encounter during the day, from their bus driver to their waitress at dinner.

4. Be a moral role model. 

Parents are the single most influential people in their kids’ lives, so lead by example.

Practice honesty and fairness, and acknowledge your mistakes and flaws.

Share ethical dilemmas you face (age-appropriately) with your children, and get them to consider their own ethical dilemmas they’ve faced during the day.

This can be a great topic of conversation to add to your daily chats or family time.

5. Help children deal with destructive feelings. 

This is what psychologists help kids to do for themselves, but why should they do it for others?

Because their ability to care for others can be inhibited by their own negative feelings.

If they can take control of their own emotions and destructive thoughts, they’ll have a greater capacity to help others deal with their own.

Moments of meditation and mindfulness offer great ways for kids to deal with negative feelings when they occur.

Weissbourd says that these tips won’t just benefit your child’s interaction with and contribution to the wellbeing of others… it will also help themselves.

‘If we can help our kids… tune into others, including people who are different from them, they are going to have better relationships their whole lives… That is a key foundation both for morality and happiness.’ 

Source: https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/tips-for-raising-moral-children-from-harvard-psychologists/

Top 7 Tips to Raise a Good Kid, According to Harvard Psychologists

Must-See Parenting Tips from Harvard Psychologist: How to Raise Kind Kids

In the last decades, things have changed a lot which is the reason why all of us now have many new habits, different behavior, and points of view.

These changes have had a strong effect on today’s children, and an apt example of this is how much the kids are influenced by technology.

Technology has become important to the point it has started to play a crucial role in today’s children way of thinking and communicating. And that is only one of the situations that we hardly could have imagined.

It is little surprise then that parents these days have to deal with a lot of new issues which didn’t exist before. The primary challenge for them comes from the fact that there is a considerable difference between the way they were raised and the needs of their children. That makes finding an answer to the question how to raise good children even more complicated task?

What are the secrets of raising successful and happy people?

This issue has been widely discussed not only by parents but by experts as well. Studies and research have been conducted, and most of the specialists have concluded that the key to raising a well-rounded child is to provide solid support at home so that he or she grows up confident in themselves.

“The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help her develop a sense of passion and purpose,” says Susan Stiffelman, MFT, an educational therapist and author of Parenting Without Power Struggles.

Other significant findings regarding this matter were made by psychologists from Harvard’s Making Caring Common Project (MCC) who have prepared a list of the top 7 tips that could be the key to raising a good child in today’s world which is full of problems and dilemmas.

Even though these tips are quite simple, they are important and worth following.

You can find them below:

1. Try to be a good example for your kids.

First and foremost parents should remember the fact that kids learn from what they witness and experience.

Since the parents’ behavior strongly influences children the mothers and fathers should always think about their words or actions and what consequences they could have for the kids. A good idea is to apologize for your mistakes after admitting them of course.

Also, it is good to remind your children, that letting people down is not ok. This way the parent becomes an example and a role model for the children.

2. Earn your children’s respect.

Another important thing is respect, which can only be earned. To earn the respect of your kids, it is essential always, to be honest, open and responsible for your actions.

This means taking responsibility and doing the right thing (even when it is not the most convenient thing to do). Also, try explaining to the children that bad things can happen but we should accept them as lessons and learn from them.

This way you help your kids become better, more mature individuals who would treat you with respect even when you make mistakes.

3 Teach your children to respect other people.

In her new book, “Presence,” Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy proves that caring about others is necessary if we want to be happy. That is why parents need to teach their children to acknowledge other people’s feelings and points of view.

It is also crucial that a child develops good communication skills and learns to share relevant information since a young age.

Such capabilities could play a significant role in the child’s later life and help him or her to become successful both in their personal and professional life.

4. Teach him or her to be grateful.

It is a good thing to teach your children to be thankful for all they have in their lives, to show them what is the price of everything. A parent should teach their children not to take anything for granted. It is scientifically proven that people, who are grateful are more helpful, generous and empathetic. On top of that, such people are more happy and healthy.

5. Try making your children be kind to everyone.

Children have to know that their behavior is important and they could make a big difference in someone else’s life. So it is essential to teach them to be kind to others – even to those they do not know very well.

The Harvard psychologists think that children need to learn to listen carefully not only to their close ones but to also take into consideration the opinions of the bigger range of people they communicate with every day.

6. Spend time with your kid/kids.

A good parent spends time with the children and is always there for them when they need their mother or father. Listening to the child and initiating conversations helps the parent to establish a strong relationship with the kid. It is also necessary for the parent and the child to do things together as that could strengthen the relationship.

7. Teach your children how to deal with their feelings.

You can explain to your children that all feelings are acceptable, but how we deal with them sometimes might not be quite right. Children need our help to learn how to cope with their feelings either good or bad in productive ways which wouldn’t do harm to others.

The tips listed above are some of the most important for a parent to follow but are not the only ones of course.

Eventually, what we should remember is that the most important thing when it comes to children is to love them and to manifest our love the right way.

If we want to raise good individuals, who can establish strong relationships and communicate openly try surrounding your children with love, happiness, and encouragement and try being a good role model for them.

And let’s not forget that no matter how difficult parenting might be, it is one of the worthiest and most important things we could do in our life. As Janet Reno says:

I have learned that raising children is the single most challenging thing in the world to do. It takes hard work, love, luck, and a lot of energy, and it is the most rewarding experience that you can ever have.

Do you have children? Do you agree with the advice provided above?

Please, share your opinion in the comments down below.

Source: https://iheartintelligence.com/tips-to-raise-good-kid/